For the 13 years I've been in massage, I find there are some things that everyone finds very embarrassing, yet they always happen at one time or another during their massages. There's honestly nothing to be embarrassed about. Let me enlighten you that most massage therapists see/hear these things weekly and we pay no mind to them. We are more concerned about your wellbeing and comfort than anything that might be a natural body response.
1) Flatulence - Okay, let's just get this one out of the way first. I've heard stories of people being uncomfortable half their massage because of trying to hold in a fart. I find this rather sad that someone ruined a great session of relaxation due to a normal body function. Just like that book says how everybody poops, well, everybody toots, too. It's okay. In fact, it's a great sign of your body sliding into the rest and digest phase, which is very important. So, if in the middle of a session you feel the need or one just slips out by mistake, it's fine. My only request is, well, most massage rooms are small in nature and don't have a lot of ventilation, so maybe keep it down to a very few please, for both you and your therapist's comfort.
2) Stomach Noises - While on the topic of GI tract stuff, let's talk about the gurgling and growling of the stomach during your massage. First, this happens so often that most therapists barely notice it. Second, again, it's a great sign that your body is reaching the rest and digest phase. This phase is important because as the body is able to relax, it allows the energy to move from fight or flight and into important functions like proper digestion, cell repair, and immune boosting. It's one of the best benefits of massage. Third, a massage moves and loosens a lot of body tissues and it will affect the body as a whole. As fascia releases, the organs it surround will be able to relax, allowing everything to move easier. When your stomach is singing, talking, and growling in a massage it's a good sign. Just keep relaxing and let it all flow. Your therapist doesn't really care.
3) Snoring - If I get a client to fall asleep and snore, then I feel like I have achieved the goal of the massage. Actually, to have someone relaxed enough to make them lower all natural defenses and fall asleep, especially when they have never met me before, I basically take it as a compliment to my skills. Snoring has never bothered me since I know if it gets too loud I'll just wake my client up. The only time I have ever been concerned about snoring is when I worked at various clinics, and I made sure that my client's snoring wasn't loud enough to be heard through the walls. Again, I don't think most therapist even care about this either. It's so normal and natural. Honestly, relax and fall asleep. For some of my clients, it might be the best sleep they get in a week.
4) Stinky Feet - Sandal and flip flop season will be upon us soon, and with that occasionally comes stinky feet. This is not as big of a problem as most clients think because most therapists have their own way of dealing with it. Some of us just add a bit of peppermint or eucalyptus essential oil to our lotion when massaging them, or adding BioFreeze or another scented sports balm. Or we might just use a spare hot towel and wipe them clean. If you are really concerned about it, before you get on the table, take some hand sanitizer and rub it in your feet. It kills that stinky corn chip scent and your therapist will never know about it. But don't come in with stinky feet intentionally, trying to get a free upgrade. That's just rude.
5) Un-Shaved Legs - Ladies, I'm going to say this for every massage therapist out there: WE DON'T CARE IF YOUR LEGS ARE NOT SHAVED! I'll also let you in on a little secret, most men don't shave their legs either, and yet not a single man has ever apologized for not having shaved legs. I'll reckon massage therapists probably hear a lady apologize for this 3 times or more a week, and there's no need. So seriously, gals, it's okay if your legs are as hairy as a bear. Your therapist doesn't care. Your massage will still be awesome.
Now I hope that reading this has helped allay your fears about doing something "embarrassing" while getting a massage. Your therapist is really only concerned with your comfort, your health, and your experience. Most of the things you find embarrassing are things we deal with all the time and pay little attention to. So just come to your massage, relax, and stop worrying. You're paying for this time, why ruin it with random anxiety?
